When I first started learning about the Six Human Needs, there was one I consistently forgot. “Maybe that one is not as important,” I thought.

What I eventually realized was that SIGNIFICANCE was as important as the other needs, it’s just that I felt guilty about it. Somewhere down the line there was a cultural understanding, especially for women but men are affected too, that it’s not okay to stand out from the general population. From an evolutionary perspective, it would be akin to a gazelle strutting around the fringe of the herd. Easy pickings for a stalking predator.

There may also be misunderstandings about what it means to be humble, which is seen as a virtue but is sometimes defined as, “having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance,” or being, “of low social, administrative, or political rank.” (Oxford Dictionary online)

Over the years, I have learned to recognize being humble as an understanding that we are all part of a larger whole — that there are greater things moving the universe than we can imagine or understand. I believe in a benevolent creator, but even without that faith it’s clear that we are influenced by larger forces. Humility allows us to feel a sense of wonder and awe.

But how do we keep from getting lost in the bigness of it all? We all need to feel that we matter. We all have gifts to share. If you feel unloved, go out and love others. Develop your gifts and talents and use them to make others happy. Tonight, I went to a hand drumming class in the park. Cade, the teacher, kindly and patiently led the group through basic techniques, but more than that he brought us together. With his leadership, we moved fast then slow, fell into softness and rose to high volume. No money changed hands and most of us were beginners, but a capable leader made us all feel significant. Sometimes all you need to do is show up.

I didn’t plan to take my latest hike to it’s end. I set a time to turn around on the out and back trail, but when I reached that point there was only a mile left. The first several miles had all been downhill, and I thought that the worst was behind me. Downhill is harder on my knees and I had forgotten my hiking poles again. Wouldn’t I regret not going the last little bit?

At the end there was a sign indicating another trail to Kolob Arch. Just another half mile. Having gone that far, I didn’t want to miss the arch. It looked pretty easy, so I kept going. Soon the trail became more rugged with steep climbs up and down the boulder strewn side of the canyon.

It was beautiful, and I was glad to finish the trail, but now it was time to head out. By the time I got back to the main trail my right knee had seized up. Previously, it had only caused me pain going down. The resulting overconfidence from that led to a painful and humbling experience. Did I feel humble because I was of less importance than someone with perfect knees or because I was of lower rank because of my miscalculation?

No. I felt humble because I knew I needed help. I prayed with a recognition of my own vulnerability and knew that it kind of served me right to be struggling since I didn’t prioritize bringing the poles. But I prayed anyway. Was I significant enough to receive help when I had pushed the limits, when it wasn’t that big of a deal in the larger scope of things? At the moment of my amen, I looked to the side of the trail and saw a just right walking stick. With my right leg dragging and the left carrying most of the burden, it was invaluable.

The last few miles of steep uphill hiking was also made easier by remembering the perseverance my daughter showed on a multi-day pioneer trek, which reminded me of ancestors who walked over a thousand miles to make new homes. I hiked alone, but I wasn’t alone.

We are often stronger than we think we are. 16 miles wasn’t much compared to what many others have done, but it felt significant to me.

Try this: Sit upright in a position of nobility and begin to recognize your breath. Reflect on yourself as a human being. Just the act of reflection is an amazing ability! As you continue to breathe in a relaxed way, feel your placement in space. Begin to recognize space expanding out from you. The further it goes, the smaller you become; a tiny speck. With your breath, bring your awareness back to your body and feel your placement in space again. This time imagine being in the center of the universe. In humility, we recognize our part in the larger whole. Every ancestor who came before us contributed to who we are. Even so, there is not a single creature in the universe that is the same. You are unique. We need you. You are significant.