Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. ~ Viktor E. Frankl

Yesterday, I attended a religious devotional. During introductions, the presenter made a political joke that left me feeling unwelcome and isolated. My annoyance was distracting. I did my best to pay attention to the good theme of the presentation knowing I would be the one to lose out if I held onto negativity. I also knew it would be good to express my feelings at the end of the devotional.

HOW and WHY were important. Often when people are hurt they want to be justified in hurting back. The HOW might include humiliation – I could have called him out in front of the group, or reported him. Or maybe with anger – using accusatory statements such as, “You were really rude…”

WHY? Because he deserved to be punished. But did he? By taking time to be still in the space between what happened and my response, I was able to connect with my core value of compassion. I doubt the man had any idea he had caused discomfort. In fact, the theme of his presentation led me to believe he would want to know how he could improve. The WHY became so he and I could understand each other and grow.

The HOW was delivered with kindness and compassion. A handshake and thanks for the content of the presentation and my appreciation for his service. I then said, “I do want to admit that the political joke you told left me feeling unwelcome and I found it difficult to engage in the message at first.”

He looked embarrassed and said it was only a joke, but hung his head and agreed that he shouldn’t have said it.

“Thank you for letting me express that, and for your devotional,” I said then left the building.

It can be hard to speak our truth with compassion. It’s tempting to start judging, sometimes ourselves most of all. I went for a hike this morning to clear my head. Things have been very up and down lately, and I wondered how the clarity and sense of growth I felt while serving a mission last year got lost. I Stopped, Took a deep breath, and Observed my thoughts, feelings and body reactions.

If a judgement arose, I asked if it was really true. I listened to the voice that speaks to me in stillness. Some call it intuition; I call it Spirit. The instruction I received was given with compassion, although some of the changes suggested were uncomfortable. I listened. Now, I can Proceed with awareness. STOP. A scriptural phrase came to mind, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

Buddhists and Christians, Republicans and Democrats, You and I can be still and create space for ourselves and each other.

Continue reading below for more about True Freedom.

True Freedom includes exercises to clarify your values, explore ways to meet your human need for growth, and ways to cultivate awareness. There will be exercises for finding stillness in meditation practice and daily living, as well as a guided meditation, titled, “Ocean”.

Try this: Connect to your breath. Notice it flowing in and out of your body like waves of the ocean. Observe and name whatever emotion arises (calm, stressed, bored, anxious, peaceful). Notice how the emotion flows in and out with each breath and name any new emotion that arises.

Even when the fiercest storm blows on the surface of the sea, deep below it is still.

Next Week: I Choose to Move