Freedom is the ability to choose, but how often do we forfeit that gift? Have you ever said, “I have to: Go to work. Do the dishes. Clean the house?”

We really don’t HAVE to do any of those things. We choose to do those things in order to experience the results, but when we use, “I have to,” language, it can feel like we’re trapped in a world we don’t want. It’s true that you don’t get to choose the consequences of your actions, but the language you use to describe your experience is ALL YOU.

Many of our responses to life events come from the way our subconscious was programmed early in life. At some point, usually without even realizing it, we agreed with certain statements that came from home, school, playgrounds and the media. When those statements became beliefs we subconsciously began to look for ways to reinforce them. Some created good habits, and some created bad ones. It’s a bad habit to believe we constantly deserve punishment when the result we get from an action doesn’t feel good.

After months of discomfort (and moments of major pain), I was finally able to see a physical therapist about a herniated disc in my neck. Three weeks later I was thrilled that the pain was almost completely gone. Not being able to do yoga was frustrating to me, so when I felt better I immediately did rigorous workouts two days in a row. Is doing yoga bad? Of course not! But in this case, it brought the pain from my disc back in full force. It was very tempting to engage in personal name calling. I could also have reinforced negative beliefs from my past: “You’re no athlete. Why bother trying to exercise? You always get hurt. Why even try?”

The truth plain and simple: I engaged in some exercises that resulted in a flair up of the pain in my neck. Sure it’s normal to try to figure out the reasons why something happened so we can avoid or repeat them in the future, but too often those reasons turn to judgments. We judge ourselves and others based on our perspective of the world. When choices affect society adversely, we need to make decisions about what we allow and what we don’t. It’s also important to do that on a personal level. But judging is, at best, our own opinion based on limited information. At worst, it becomes a way to demonize ourselves and others.

Over the next six weeks my messages are going to focus on the language of choice. They will be the basis of a program I’m developing, “True Freedom.”

The program will include exercises and guided meditations that have real impact on personal feelings of liberation. I hope you’ll give it a try. Until then, tune in each week for the series, “I Choose,” to bring more empowering language into your life!

Next week: “I Choose to be Still.”