One of the six essential human needs is VARIETY. Everyone needs a little spice to keep life from being boring, and every story needs unexpected development to be interesting.

Another word for variety is change, but that can be unwelcome when we feel insecure about what is going to happen next. CERTAINTY is also one of the six human needs. One might start to wonder how the two can co-exist peacefully.

Everyone want suspense to some degree, which is why we watch tense movies, but it seems that we have lost tolerance for the real thing.

Tony Robbins said, “The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.”

So how do you meet the need for certainty? We connect with the bigger things like the sun and the moon, with God, or the universe. We can develop certainty in our ability to find things to be grateful for, and to have faith in.

I have a pretty high need for variety. I loved my job on the Oregon Coast, but I knew it was time for a change. Over the last few years, it’s been a real blessing to travel, study, and serve in some amazing places with amazing people. I love coaching and teaching mindfulness, but I recognized a desire to be part of an organization again. I still have amazing clients and will continue serving in that way, but with new and different responsibilities.

For months nothing seemed to happen in that direction. I admit, the suspense began to build and become uncomfortable. At moments (despite similar experiences in the past) I became fearful of the future. It was at those times when practicing my tolerance for uncertainty was so helpful. Recently, I was offered two amazing positions. I prayed about and pondered the best course. The suspense got so intense at one point that I felt a little panicky. Thank goodness I STOP-ped, and realized that either choice would be a blessing. I asked for advice and prayers from others.

Fear and indecision can lead to depression and/or anxiety. Patience and gratitude helped me to stay in balance when things weren’t going the way I wanted. Faith and resilience helped me move forward when I had a decision to make. Flexibility helped me make needed changes. With my new schedule, I decided to start utilizing a gym for workouts. I’ve never done that before! But it’s fun (and great for the brain!) to learn something different.

Both at my new job and at the gym I feel a bit unsure and awkward, but as with all new things, they get easier as we learn, practice and persevere. I can compassionately acknowledge some grieving for the loss of time freedom, while also being grateful to serve as an advisor to teenagers with significant challenges at a local boarding school.

Energy waxes and wanes; seasons come and go. There’s something to learn and appreciate in every portion of time.

Try this:

• Grieve a loss in a mindful way. Appreciate what you had and feel sad that it is gone.
• Take time in prayer, meditation, or in nature to connect with that which is larger than you. Be grateful for the certainty that we are part of something bigger than ourselves.
• Learn/do something new. Allow yourself to feel the discomfort and enjoy it anyway. Take a class, read a book that challenges you, teach someone a skill, start a conversation with a stranger.
• Practice patience. Feel the impatience in you body, breathe some compassion into it, and take a deep breath.
• Practice flexibility and resilience. If something doesn’t turn out the way you want, find what IS right about the situation. See if you can shift your perspective.
• Ask for help. This can be hard, but people will be grateful for the opportunity to serve if you keep your requests in balance.