I hadn’t planned to go for a hike today. I shouldn’t have.

This weekend was a little angsty for me. Probably the result of attending the Utah Coalition Against Pornography Conference. It was an EXCELLENT conference filled with useful information. It also caused some uncomfortable feelings: fear, worry, sadness, annoyance, desperation. These were mingled with determination, gratitude for awareness, powerful advocates, and hope. Some paths give the illusion of pleasure, but end up nowhere good. It’s best if we avoid them altogether.

We know that VARIETY is one of the six essential human needs. It may seem easier to meet that need with things that dull or soothe our senses immediately (drugs, alcohol, unhealthy food, too much news or tv) but have little, if any, positive return. In fact, they can be quite damaging. Sometimes we avoid variety that comes with the risk of short-term discomfort due to fear of embarrassment, suspense or rejection, even though the benefits could be great.

The hike today wasn’t disastrous. I recognized a bad path before it got dangerous. It was too windy, the trail was not well-marked, too many boulders and river crossings. Hiking usually feels good and I like the variety of trying new trails. This one made me feel grumpy and I began to chastise myself about wasted time, shouldn’t have come, blah, blah, blah.

STOP. I took a deep breath and noticed my surroundings. It was beautiful. Nothing really bad happened, I just had to turn around and go back. This was a path not to take, at least not by myself.

Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Why not try? As long as something isn’t illegal, unethical or immoral according to your conscience, than why not? I talk a lot about hiking, but I love a VARIETY of things: drawing, writing music, concerts, museums, conferences (I love to learn!), volunteering, talking to people…

Maybe it won’t work. Maybe you won’t be very good at it. Maybe that’s not the point. It takes a level of effort and vulnerability to engage in things that really matter, but meeting our need for variety in high quality, often risky ways helps us learn, brings a sense of accomplishment, and contributes to joy. You don’t have to be great at it to paint, knit, garden, pick up a guitar, hike or anything else to get started. If you keep at it, you WILL get better. If you don’t like it you can turn around and go back. Learn what not to do.

Try this: ANYTHING (legal, ethical and moral) that you want!! Use STOP (Stop, Take a deep breath, Observe your thoughts, feelings, body reactions with kindly curiosity, Proceed with awareness) to really be in the moment. No judgment or fear. Then decide to do it again or try something else.