True Belonging
“Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.”
Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone
My Dear Friends,
I just finished listening to the aforementioned book on Audible for the second time in a row. The lessons in this book are ESSENTIAL. Currently, everyone seems to be passing judgement on everyone else. And worse, we cruelly evaluate ourselves on a regular basis.
Brown explores the difference between, “fitting in,” and, “belonging,” Fitting in means that we alter ourselves to be accepted in a group. Belonging is an internal sense of knowing that we can be our authentic selves.
When you learn to love and appreciate yourself, there is no need to hide. You value yourself enough to set boundaries, be true to your word, and forgiving of screw ups. When we guess about others’ motives (and it’s almost ALWAYS a guess), we can be generous in our evaluations.
Practice STOP this week:
Stop
Take a deep breath
Observe your thoughts, feelings and body reactions
Proceed with awareness
- If someone asks you to do something, STOP and see if it’s what you really want to prioritize in your life right now. If not, say, “no,” and work through any feelings of guilt that arise. Use STOP on those, too!
- Follow through. If you are tempted to bail on something you agreed to do, STOP and remind yourself that your integrity is important. If you or someone else messes up on this, STOP and practice forgiveness.
- Practice being generous in your thoughts about yourself and others. When you find yourself being critical, STOP and turn it around.
These exercises will help you realize that you belong here. We all belong here.
I hope you practice loving your authentic, beautiful self this week!
Love, Cristina
