My Dear Friends,

No one wants to get the flu.  

In a short period of time, I had my car crunched and fixed in Missouri. While the car was in the shop, I drove to Kansas City to pick up my brother so he could help me with the driving as I moved from Missouri to the Salt Lake Valley, Utah. I gave a public speech two days after I got back, then flew to Pittsburgh to welcome a new grand baby and help with the sweet two year old. Within days of returning to Utah, I traveled south with family to attend the funeral of a beloved aunt. The next week I got the flu. What a blessing! 

What?! How could getting the flu be a blessing? 

When I stopped to breathe and be still, I viewed the aches and exhaustion with compassion. The flu would pass, as all things do. My body truly needed the rest.

With just the right timing, I felt better and began my three week road trip. I could share just the fun parts: plays, music, lunches with dear ones, hiking and meditation retreats. But in reality, there were a lot of challenges. There always are. But even, or maybe especially, within the challenges there are blessings. There always are. 

Some are simple and we can see them right away. Others take time. The trip to Arizona had some scorching disappointment, but included meeting some wonderful people. My car got stuck in the snow and mud in Flagstaff. I was grateful for a couple of young Native Americans who helped me out.  A prospective landlord named Taz and I sat and talked about our adventures while sitting on his deck overlooking the beautiful Prescott Valley.  Arizona was not to be my new home, but I needed to go there to find out. 

I didn’t realize how hard it would be to find a hotel in my price range and accidentally ended up at Motel 6 in a red light district near Phoenix at 10 PM! The front desk clerk looked at me over the top of her glasses, and with pity in her voice said, “I’ll put you in the nicer part of the building. You’ll be okay.”It was a little scary, but I laugh about it now. Visiting Phoenix gave me the opportunity to visit my beautiful niece. 

Later, as I made the two hour trip from St. George to Panguitch, Utah, I experienced a deep tiredness. I felt a desperate need to stop for the night halfway through the drive. Anyone who knows depression knows that it can hit with a sudden fierceness. I had to stop. “You’re being silly,” I tried to tell myself. Too frivolous to pay for a motel room on such a small journey! That stop showed me my new home in Cedar City.

After spending a week in Panguitch with loving family, I headed northeast to the mountains near Moab, Utah for a three-day meditation and poetry retreat. It was wonderful. The people, the poetry, the food, the lodgings were all salve for the soul. But I worried about the record snow that had fallen, and the mud as it all started to melt. My car had already gotten mired in the first place I parked and I was glad for the freeze that allowed me to move it in the morning. After the final goodbyes of the retreat, I winced as I slipped and slogged my way up the hill to the cabins where my car was parked. As I drove toward the highway, I heard the familiar sound of spinning wheels. I stopped and said a prayer. Just then I thought about Jay, who had gotten my car out in Flagstaff. What did he do?

With my mind quiet and calm, I started trying different things and finally got my car rocking by going back and forth from drive to reverse. The rear end fishtailed just like it had for Jay! Twice my car got stuck; twice I got myself out as I left the ranch. The challenge from earlier in the trip gave me inspiration when I needed it later. A feeling of triumph and accomplishment and gratitude were gifts well worth the hardship.

I hope that when the inevitable waves of struggle flow into your life, you will take a moment to breathe and be still. The waves will pass and leave blessings waiting to be found. 

Sending love, Cristina